


All I Need

by hopeisnear



Category: Black Widow (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 18:30:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11167587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeisnear/pseuds/hopeisnear
Summary: In which Maria tells Natasha that she loves her. Natasha runs, but finds her way back. Blackhill text messages. Drabble. One shot.





	All I Need

**Author's Note:**

> It's 2 AM and this originally was a strictly text message idea that evolved into something more and went way left. I'm sorry lol The ending was kinda rushed, writers blocks, also sorry. I wrote this on my phone so it's formatted weird. But if you miraculously kind of like this fic, let me know. lol Enjoy.

There was an irritating buzz coming from the other side of her bed, buzzing every couple of minutes, that stirred Maria from her slumber.

  
(Her alert, rational mind would have told her that she’d received a text message, but the exhausted side of her mind really just wanted the buzzing to stop.)

  
She flipped onto her back, eyes still closed, and released a heavy sigh, left hand searching beneath the sheets and finally grasped her phone from beneath her other pillow as it buzzed for the umpteenth time.

  
She lifted the phone in front of her face and opened her groggy eyes to the notification on the bright screen in front of her.

  
_1:47 a.m. Natasha Romanoff. iMessage._

  
Maria’s eyebrows furrowed, mind still thick from sleep, and wondered what the hell had happened for the Black Widow to text her this late.

  
The last time she had even seen Natasha was well over two and a half weeks ago. Bringing back the familiar pang in her chest at the memory of their last conversation.

  
(“You can’t keep doing this to yourself Natasha.” Maria sighed.

Jaw tight, leaning her butt against the edge of her desk behind her. She crossed her arms while her eyes took in the sight of the red head in front of her.

  
There was a patch of bandage visible on her collar bone from underneath her shirt, from where the doctors had wrapped her shoulder from the gun shot wound she’d sustained in the latest mission.

  
Her left eye was black, and Maria knew she had stitches somewhere on her abdomen from being slashed with a knife during the fight.

  
Maria’s whole body vibrated in tightly controlled anger. It didn’t sit well with her.

  
Not one bit.

  
“What exactly am I doing? My job?” Natasha’s eyes flashed dangerously.

Voice in the same gravelly sarcastic tone as usual. She crossed her arms as well, mirroring the agitated woman in front of her, and shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

  
Natasha can admit that an angry, protective Maria always sent a certain chill through her bones, but right now she couldn’t focus on that.

  
She didn’t need protecting. Not from Maria... not anymore.

  
“You sure as hell could be doing your job a lot better.”

  
Red rose up Natasha’s neck, as her cheeks flushed in anger and a little bit of another feeling she still wasn’t going to acknowledge.

  
“How _dare_ you?”)

  
The conversation had ended in a shouting match, and Natasha slamming the door in Maria’s face on her way out.

  
Both women left with an ache in their hearts and longing in their veins.

  
She hadn’t spoken to or seen her since.

  
It wasn’t the first argument.

  
Every since Maria had _stupidly_ whispered those three little words one morning, Natasha cut and run.

  
All of their run ins since then have had the same high tensions.

  
(They were both laying in bed, naked.

  
Maria was laying on her side, head propped up in her hand, eyes searching the beautiful woman next to her.

  
The morning sunlight streamed through the bedroom curtains, illuminating Natasha’s short, curly red stresses as Maria’s eyes traced the freckles on her face, the curve of her nose, and the green of her irises.

  
Maria just… _said_ it.

  
“I love you.”

  
It felt _right_.

  
She couldn’t imagine anyone else she’d want to be with, and being with Natasha just inherently felt right.

  
Sure, this whole thing started with them just sleeping together, but she wasn’t going to deny that it didn’t grow into something else entirely.

  
Maria, in no way, expected Natasha to say it back. She knew love was something that the Black Widow just did _not_ do.

  
Hell, love was something that _she_ didn’t do either. But she knows the emotion when she feels it, and there’s no reason to hide it.

  
They’re both grown women. They can talk about their feelings, acknowledge them, and work through them.

  
Or so she thought.

  
Maria didn’t expect for said woman to disappear on her for a week after that.

  
Running hurt a lot more than not being ready to say it back.)

  
Arguments or not, that doesn’t stop Maria from worrying about her.

  
She’s a worrier. It’s what she does, and even with only sleeping together, Natasha wasn’t immune.

  
Because Natasha was _different_. Different than any other typical ‘friends with benefits’ situation.

  
Damn it. Natasha was _hers_.. or so she thought before she just ran off.

Does talking about the obvious feelings that they have for each other somehow change the fact that they’re genuine?

  
Does Natasha really feel nothing for her?

  
Should she just have said nothing?

  
These are all questions that Maria asked herself. She tried her hardest to understand why and what exactly made Natasha end it all. It never stops Maria from caring about her though. Never.

  
And logically, she knows that injuries are just a natural occurrence in this line of work. Natasha is essentially a walking nightmare. She _knows_ the things that Natasha is capable of. She _knows_ what she has done, and what she _still_ does to get the job done.

  
But logic never crossed Maria’s mind when it came to Natasha.

  
She has _always_ hated seeing the red head hurt in any kind of way.

  
It made her skin crawl and her teeth grind, to know that she couldn’t protect her from everything.

  
(What she didn’t know is, the feeling was one hundred percent mutual.

  
Natasha could be just as moody and wreak havoc on other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents while sparring when Maria would come back all banged up from a mission.

  
And yet she would never say a word to the woman aside from mission reports.

  
They had been sleeping together for about 6 months before Maria decided that it was time to tell her how she felt.

  
And when she said those words, Natasha gathered the same irrational fear that the people she loved always ended up dying.  
So Natasha left Maria, who was confused and undoubtedly hurt, and took on mission after mission to take her mind off of her aching heart.

  
Everything had changed. It felt weird going back to her own apartment when the day was over. Sleeping in her own bed. Waking up to empty sheets.

  
It was… lonely.

  
Which had never been an issue for Natasha. Being trained in the Red Room and having every one you ever loved murdered in cold blood right in front of you, makes you content with never having anyone. And if you do, not for long.

  
So when this started, Natasha never could have fathomed falling for the deputy director. Or maybe she could have, the thing that scared her the most was that she hadn’t even _realized_ she’d fallen for her.

  
Seeing how much Maria still cared about her wellbeing in that office made her unnaturally angry, but she couldn’t deny that Maria’s possessive nature made her heart thump a little erratically.

_  
When was the last time anyone actually cared for her?_

  
She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she lost Maria.

  
So she did what she does best… run.  
But no matter how much she tried, it was like a rope had lassoed her heart to the deputy director.

  
And she honestly just... _missed_ Maria.)

  
Willing the thoughts from her mind, Maria swiped the text to unlock her phone.

  
1:47 a.m. – **I’m sorry**

  
Maria bit her lip, reading the words over and over again.

  
1:57 a.m. – _Stop apologizing. I was an ass. I’m sorry._

  
Maria pressed send.

  
After a beat or two, the telltale three dots appeared signifying Natasha typing out her response.

  
1:57 a.m. – **I should have been more careful**

  
1:58 a.m – _It’s okay Nat. Really._

  
2:00 a.m. – **It’s not okay. I shouldn’t have done that**

  
Maria’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

  
2:01 a.m. – _We all take a beating or two on a mission every once in awhile. I overreacted. It won’t happen again._

  
She could see that Natasha read her message, but wasn’t typing.

  
As the minutes ticked by, she didn’t think she’d get another response tonight.

  
Maria released a breath and slid her phone back to it’s original place under her other pillow. She flipped onto her side and closed her eyes.

  
_Buzz._

  
Maria opened her eyes and rolled over to grab her phone.

  
2:14 a.m. – **But, what if I want you to?**

  
Maria’s pulse quickened. She felt a heat spread up her stomach through her chest the way it always does when Natasha manages to knock her off center.

  
2:16 a.m. – _Want me to what?_

  
2:16 a.m. – **What if I want you to overreact? To care about me?**

  
As soon as Maria began to type, the three dots appeared again.

  
2:17 a.m. – **… to love me?**

  
The butterflies in Maria’s stomach flapped their wings with determination.

  
She honestly couldn’t believe what she was reading. Sure, the Black Widow had a soft spot for the deputy director, Maria knew that, but she was never as direct in acknowledging it or showing it as she was in that moment.

  
2:18 a.m. – _I was under the impression that me loving you isn’t something that you want._

  
Natasha read her message and began to type, but then she stopped.

  
One minute goes by.

  
Then another.

  
Then three more.

  
She starts typing again and Maria holds her breath.

  
2:23 a.m. – **But what if it _is?_**

  
It was Maria’s turn to think.

  
2:25 a.m. – _Would you let me? Love you?_

  
2:26 a.m. – **I can try. I think..**

  
Maria smiled.

  
2:27 a.m. – _I can work with that.._

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think? Comment. Kudos. :)


End file.
